Saturday, October 15, 2011


Hi, you guys! Cutting a long blogpost short, real short, I've moved to Tumblr for the time being only and only and only cause I don't have the time to write my heart and lungs out. :(

See me on Undecided if you wish to. (Fuck your wishes because you *must* see me there.)

No, I'm not aborting Such a Cow. STOP CRYING.

Meanwhile, watch this space for more. (If and when I get the time.)

Have fun, act funny!

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Monday, October 3, 2011

Reality check, y'all.

It is NOT always PIXIE DUST. 
You might want to use a broom and reach out to YOUR ceiling.


Yes. Reality.

Thank me later!


Friday, September 30, 2011

The stars don't mingle with us.

Courtesy: Rochelle: 

I hit the lowies after a horrible exam today and decided to go shopping to hit the highies. Ended up shopping for marker pens so I could study my answers better. Turning into a stationary freak nerd feels mindblowingly sexy, okay? Okay.

I rarely undo. What is done, is done. You don't undo in life, man. You just don't.

Those stars look so retarded.

I have been spending over 8 hours at the college library every single day and I come home feeling raped. ;(

I found a dead starfish in my bag today. Held it in my hand and it turned to powder. Like one of those magical things that happen in magic movies? Only, it felt so much more gross. EEWW. Whatever happens in movies must stay in movies only. Fucking gross. Dead babies seem so much cooler now.

My Mum's question was, what was a starfish, a dead starfish, doing in my bag anyway? :|

Hadn't emptied that bag since my trip in May. Hopeless.

3 more months to go before we get done with the year. Sad / happy / dead already / I'm busy eating cookies and I don't care?

I loveth my short hair more than I love my pet dinosaur. ^.^

I'm writing you a bye-bye note and sealing it with a sloppy kiss. Because I like it disgusting. Heehee.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Give cake a chance.

Logging in here today is equal to pulling out my little black book, grabbing a pencil (because I loveth pencils), quickly scribbling a tiny note in some dirty writing and shutting the book up. Basically, no time I got to spare for the blog. : (

I'd love to update you boys and girls on the sexiness that my life has become, but time is like the husband I don't have, as yet. What a saddies. Meanwhile, you boys and girls continue flooding me with fan mails.


We haz 301 followers in 4 years and WAIT A MINUTE, it is September and technically, it is Such a Cow's birthday. :D

LOLWHAT. Birdie or no birdie, I wishy my blog a Happy Birthday! ^.^

Damn them celebrations. Exams in Godaloneknowshowmanydays.

There is a little bit of cake I sent for everyone! Go check your refrigerators! *Magic eyes*


Friday, September 2, 2011

What I said.

In class today, out of sheer boredom, I made me a to do list. BIG MISTAKE. Now the paranoid part of me won't let the chilled out part of me sleep in peace. Not even in class. :(

Do me a favour, never make a to do list unless you want to get back at yourself for some funny reason.

Everything's on the list. From completion of around 7 assignments to meeting people before they leave the country (Yes, there are people on my 'to-do' list.) to getting a haircut. There is no hair on my boyish head to cut, yet I want a haircut because I want one. I know my 'to-do' list hardly sounds important to you, but yeah hello! I'm no President either.

We do things on our to do lists, Presidents do countries on theirs.

Then, to beat the depression, I purchased me some new notepads and colour pens and pouches and pens and pencils and such. :/ Do not ask me what grade I am in, okay? It's none of your business if I'm a stationaryholic. *weepy*

Must I delay things? NO, YOU MUST NOT DELAY THINGS, I.

Look, whoever this Ichigo is, I feel sorry for him / her/ it. :(

As much as I hatings September, come mid September and there's a tiny beautiful monsoon weekend break away from Bombay waiting for me. I'm such a bum, I might start packing for it already. :3

The travel fairy is making babies with my life.

"If I were a boy, I'm pretty sure I would've been gay." - Me. *flying kissie to me*

Monday, August 29, 2011

Hanging cookies by threads.

Hi! Hi! Hi! I turned 20. Cow turned 20. My Mum's kid turned 20. My neighbour's neighbour turned 20. Your coolest blogger turned 20.

I don't know what to say. A day before my birthday, my Mum was busy telling her friend over the phone how her kid's going to turn 18  next day. (Yes, I'm sure she doesn't have another secret 18 year old kid.) Sigh. I did not react at all. Just sat there flipping channels. My own mum doesn't remember how old I am. SO CUTE. :---|

Anyway, birthday went smooth and it went nice and it went quiet.

Now, I got to act more responsible and old. Probably, start dressing old and talking old. With a heavy voice and all that. Haha! Not happening, God.

Anyway, apart from all that, I'm just so glad we're done with more than half of the year and only a little bit of it left to be dealt with. The year is just being vague and odd and nice, yet very odd. Like one of those creepy neighbours who are nice to you, but you never know, they're probably peep-Tom-ing on you? That.

Wondering if I'll be in the same city same time next year. Can not wait to find out. PLEASE TELL ME, UNIVERSE.

Been Hawaii dancing through my days and nothing spectacular's been happening. No, I haven't learnt the art of surfing on waves or not like I found a bag full of cash and cake hidden somewhere. Nothing. I'm pretty much broke in fact. Waiting for Life to throw me a sugar daddy. Fuck lemons. LOL JK.

It'd be fun to break into a Hawaiian dance in the middle of a gathering. HEEHEEX.

Have fun, you guys!

Oh wait,

That's Miss Boing Boing. Hahaha WTF.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Eating my happy.

(My red pants love you.)


The travel break was like that hot cup of chai on a miserable rainy dreanchy morning. Now that I'm back, even the thought of it makes me want to kiss my life like a lover. Wheeeexiewowza.

Spent so much of time by empty beaches under the full moon, waiting for the sun to set, crawling barefoot through thick forests, yanking out pokey thorns from the feet, hogging on the local free fish curry, running around for cover in the rain, Nutella pancakes, masala chai and gulping down honey while at the beach cafe and staying up through the night talking to strange strangers I'm sure I will never see again. :) Filmy mode is on, Manorama.

Trust me, I love my batchmates. The sad bit is, I missed out on knowing them during the 3 years that they've been in my class.

They taught me how to roll a joint like a perfectionist. (DON'T TELL MA MOMMY.) No, I'm just a passive smoker. Learning to roll one never hurt anyone but.

Happy always comes your way. You just need to hit pause and take a nice swim in happy.

After a point during our 4/5 day escape, we couldn't be bothered to capture our escape in a camera. :)

I'm marrying a Nutella pancake. Yea, Mum, that's final.

(Picture Courtesy: Everybody. Mostly.)

Friday, August 12, 2011


Mini break begins. Almost about to leave the city. Got no bookings or nothing at all. Will be by the beach in the monsoon. No, not Goa. Barely know my travel buddies. This. is. going. to. be. fun.


You guys, have lots of fun!

If I die, I'm taking my blog along. HEEHEE.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Jeez, you're still around?

This is the 5th Monday I have skipped, in general, in life. Y'know, like skip college and simply laze around like a sleepy cat? Except that I hate cats. I love this new skipping Monday business that I'v started. WHEEEHEE! And then, download a million movies and then there always is the television and the couch. Such a cute little life it is! Only, the thing about being home alone is, nobody cooks anything for you and I'm so lazy, I can fake a full stomach and continue to run through movies and find my version of reality hidden in some of them and go totally like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah everytime I spot someone worth spotting. I think the relationship I share with my television and its content is the best example ever of a 'no strings attached' relationship. I like it how life allows me to go bake myself some tea. Yes, bake. No, not make. Because I can. And then I can sleep the rest of the day off and God, can I sleep endlessly or what! I wish I could file it as a talent. Then sometime when I'm fiddling with my phone, I'll probably go say hello to my inbox and reply to texts I'v forgotten to reply to. I keep forgetting to reply to texts, man. I'm sure it offends people, but I can't help it since I don't do it on purpose. I get my brand new electric aqua blue glasses tomorrow and I'm so kicked about wearing them and annoying the fuck out of my Mum. Stepping out of Monday, can not wait for mid August to get here. I'm getting out of the city and I have no idea where we'r heading, but I am getting out of the city for a couple of days. And then later in August is my birthday. WHEEEXXIE! I'm supposed to gather some trash off Google for an assignment and I must go. Bye!

(This is one of 'those' posts where the right side of me talks to the left. You're not obliged to read it. Flying kisses for those who did anyway!)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Your foot, my soul.

Today, I got called cynical.

Tomorrow, they'll call me an obese monster who steals cookies and tea.

Then, another tomorrow they'll call me an Oprah Winfrey who won't shut the fuck up.

But, if I make sure I claw the faces of these people and scar them for life so not even Photoshop can make them look like Cinderella, I think things should be fine.

I swear on my collection of jholas, I'm highly put off at being called THAT. It's okay, cynicism is going to be the next cool thing to be in town. HA.

Extract me out my college, please? *whimpers*

I'm so cynical I don't trust furry little animals with big sad eyes. - Urban Dictionary.

LOLMAO. I'd love to be a cynic if we live the UrbanDictionary way. =D 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Nicey is what nicey eats.

I just gifted myself a week long break ^.^

I can't wait to buy myself a tinnnnnnnny apartment and do it up myself. I know, I know I'v said this before. Fairylights and bright colours that blind you and mirrors and bells. WHY AINT I A CHILD PRODIGY WHO IS ALREADY THE CEO OF SOME COMPANY? ;(

Or, I could become a conman. No, too much effort. Hahaha I love this thing that draws a line across my words. Someday I'll write a whole post and cut it like that because I can.

The smaller the house, the bigger the heart. Very true.

I hate my class. I love college. I love red ink. I hate muck. I love Dream Cream. I hate being sick. I love being unsick. I love my course. I hate feminists. I love cotton. I hate technology. Technology hates me. End of life. Enough. I'm bored.

The intermission is going on.

Listening to cute mushy tracks on loop does not mean you're in love, turd. I'm playing Suno Nah - Jhankaar Beats at a ear blasting volume on loop because I love the movie and I love Shayan Munshi and I'm thinking about how I'm going to get rid of the pregnant cat sitting outside my door. AM I IN LOVE? No, right? -.-

Now that you're here, check the track and the movie and Shayan out because you must.

Also, I really don't know what to do with the cat. I hate cats. Don't give me suggestions unless they involve you coming over and towing her away.

What's the procedure to miss people, sir? Because apparently you gotta miss people to feel human. Meh.

Also, you know what's awesome? Ze blog haz had 2050 comments! Help me reach 5020. HEEHEE.


Monday, July 18, 2011

Happy magnet.

Hi. I'msodead. Bye.

I'm ice skating through my days. Except for the 'ice skating' bit, it's true. Like, you know, going zooom zoooooom zoooooooooooooooooooom through the day and then the speed breaker is when my head hits the pillow and then repeat. And sometimes, when sitting like a zombie in a train, I'll ask Life for a doughnut. Not that I ever get one, yet. HAVING KITTEN EYES HELPS NO MORE, FUCKER!

I'm losing weight. That equals to losing my mind and loosing of my denims. I hate it (like I hate it.). The other day, I was wearing denims and got drenched in the pretty rains and my pants wouldn't stop slipping down. (No TWSS intended.) I was in college and pleaded to anyone / everyone on Twitter around town to lend me a BELT. Not that I got one, yet.

And the next person to give me 'eat well' advice is going to be fucking shot thrice in the tummy because I eat well. Some of us have an insane rate of metabolism you know. Do I sound angry? Good.

I attended this two day workshop on Child Sexual Abuse awareness this weekend 'cause I'm slated to work with Childline. Trust me, humans are disgusting. Full stop.

I haven't had cake in so long, I think I'm out of practice. HEE HEE. Throw me a surprise cake party, GOD.

I'm going to lose my teenageity in 40 days from now. I make it sound like losing virginity or something. I'm sure it feels equally heartbarfing. Hai nah? I hope wanting to kick kittens continues to be ethically legit once you're no longer a teen. :)

Oh, come on! Don't go all 'why would you want to kick kittens' on me now. -.-

I love biscuits, too!

No, I'm no Potter fan. Just. For the lulz.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Hey, my name is Jizz.

No, my name is not Pinkie and I am not a pie. I watch you because I can.

Isn't that poster cute? Creepy and cute.

Look what my favorite most friend stole for me! A PEN FROM SWITZERLAND WITH A COW ON IT. :D Yes, he stole it from his intern for me. Heehee. What else are interns meant for anyway? To be bullied. That cow has such a cute ass, I want to chuckle.

Done for the post. Hop away, rabbits!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Your face is a monkey.

I am such a chilled out soul, I want to call my blog 'Such a chilled out Cow'. Except that I will not.

My days are locked in this merry go round schedule. Round and round and round and round and round and round and get the point, right? I'm walking through people and pissing a couple off, but I don't care no more cause you ain't noone to blame me for the busy in my life, Shawty! Geddit?

I love kids. I really do. Kids love me. They really do. Stopyourtrainofthoughtsrightthere. I am too young to be a pedophile. OKAY?

All I do all day long is play a track on loop. That's my way of fooling myself into believing that the day won't end and will continue to play itself on loop. Talk about convenience, bitchez! That reminds me, CAN I DATE MY PLAYLIST BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS TO READ MY MIND RIGHT? Can I?

When I learn to drive, I'm going to make sure I drive my car while under a shower because I like the way how car wipers work. The way they move their booty, it's so beautiful and full of drama.

I have happy in my life and I have funny in my life and I want you to listen to Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap from 500 Days of Summer because you must.

My life can haz meaning. Does yours? DOES YOURS? TELL ME RIGHT NOW.

I like typing in block letters. It just looks neater and funnier. Hee hee. Bye!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Whaazeta bullshito.

I'v survived 10 days of college already. *drags feet as she walks into the room*

And, there's work after college. *collapses*


I know, I know, I know I'm a stone to have said that. Well then, talk to the stone hand! I can cut me some slack and eat it too.

Do you ever feel a people-wave coming your way? Y'know, like the heat-wave? People-wave? I do. I have no clue how to deal with that shit. I hide.

The planet's turning into one clone company. Everybody is like everybody. Blegh. Straightened hair, skinny jeans, handbags, same rainwear, princess umbrellas, checked shorts, guitars, fair and lovely faces yadda yadda yadda! Sometimes, while waiting for people to shut the fuck up, I wonder how long will it take to burn the whole planet down and rebuild humankind from scratch.


They are blogging, says me.

Before I go vroom vroom boom boom and cross all levels of self praise and put you off, I'm off.

Oh, the post title makes zero sense.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Swirling like a planet.

You know smileys take turns to govern the several phases of our life, right? Like, there will be this phase when you will smile patiently and try and not act wild and butcher the world into tiny tiny pieces, then that one phase when you won't stop grinning because somebodies ass is on fire, then one where you will find yourself a hot neighbour and won't stop winking, one where you will tend to say things you think are funny and nobody else thinks the same and you will be left sticking your tongue out to avoid the awkward silence. And, then one day that adorable looking straightface clings itself to your life. Yes, I'm cat walking through that phase. :|

Somebody tell me if Karma really works. Is there a proof, a victim, anything at all? Because, if it doesn't work, trust me, I don't want to waste my life not doing a lot of evil to people only because I am so scared all the time that it will come back and y'know, bite my bum or burn my hair or eat away my weight.

Jeez, I spoke too much. Did I?

Moving in and out. It's 'that' time. I'd want you to know. Hand me an eraser to erase all those doodles I left behind, please?

*Looks into outer space as she completes those lines*

OHEEMGEE WAIT. Did you just call me an emo blogger? Hippo poop all over your face, yeah. *mutters*

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Scattered rainbow colours.

It's the second day of college and I already skipped classes today. Not my mistake. It was sow gloomy and sad and rainy outside when I woke up, the heavens put me off to sleep. :O

I'm kicked about college.

I'm 19. Going to turn 20 in 2 months from now. I went to a theater to watch a movie yesterday. The movie had an 'A' rating. The guards outside tried to convince ME that I am not an adult. They wouldn't believe my age identification proof. I was let in only after I threw a tantrum and asked to see their superiors. Humans love being told they don't look their age. Does not apply in my case. Heard me, Universe?

I'm kicked about life otherwise.

I'v entered that phase of lifehood where you start drooling and fantasizing about Universities to the extent that you visit their Facebook page even.

If you live in Bombay, you already know it. THE MONSOON IS HERE. RRRRUUUUNNNN! I had this friend who came to Bombay from the North East when he was 17 and stayed locked up at home all day, all week with windows shut for over 2 months of college during the monsoon cause the rains scared the shit and poop out of him. Hee hee. Chill the fuck out, monsoon. Will ya?

I want to write a special 'Thank You' note, thanking God for blenders. These weeks that I spent at home, I have exploited my blender dry. I must have put in every possible edible thing and blended it because I was so bored to chew it. Good ol' days of vacation! Sigh.

Anyway. Look sane, go bonkers! Bai.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Hi. How are you? I got back to ze city a couple of days back. Overall, my summer has been mildly pleasant. (Ugh! I never get the spelling of 'pleasant' right.) I'm sort of too exhausted to talk about my holiday. Good thing, right? It was too quiet, refreshing, much needed and beautiful to talk about. I even gained 0.25 kgs while on vacation. That lovely.

I just can not seem to write the beauty of it out.

South India is fucking farking holy shmoly beautiful. It's a shame I don't get to visit my native too often.

I'll shut up and let 'Cow meets the Camera' take over?

Empty beach! *squeals*

Look what I found! They were all over the beach. Dead, obviously. They all now sit pretty in my house.

She used to be my nanny everytime we visited the native as kids. Too bad she hardly remembers me. *sad*

I do realize I am extremely lucky when it comes to beaches. I find them empty at all times. Told you earlier I'm a cool drink to hang out with.

In all honesty, I'm finding it real odd to blog. Like, you know how it gets awkward and quiet between two people? Like that. I'm not being dramatic. I guess my head's still stuck in vacation mode. I'm never short of things to write about usually, y'know?