The Captain fell out of my shopping bag!

Oh yes. I am melodramatic. Super melodramatic at times. I could only stay out of here for -counts- precisely 12 days. And I made it seem like 'now I'll be back only when am 40 and have 10 kids all screaming over the place'...

Anyway,

You know, sometimes you wish for a lot of things? This that this that...and in the back of your mind who have this tiny voice chanting 'You'r never going to get it you'r never going to get it you'r never going to get it' ? Happens to me all the time. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and thought about your life? It is just so random, but I think the most when I am waiting at railway stations. I see those 'eeeewwww' type men and wonder what it would be like to be married to them? Repulsive. And then I look at the lives of these glitzy and glamoury people.

Anyway,

The mother is extremely worried for the daughter. The mother really thinks I have lost my mind. Like the mother randomly calls me and questions me about random things. And when I throw up a confused look on my face, the mother goes "See See (to anyone / everyone / no-one who is present in the room) I told you she has been acting odd...I don't know what to do!"

Anyway,

Now my neighbor's rectangle faced baby has gotten herself a walker. So, she's drunk and driving all over the place in her 'vehicle'. And she got herself a haircut and watches spongebob and has a hot red coloured swimsuit and is now on her first ever vacation to GOA! I mean which baby has her first ever outing in frigging GOA in summer. She is already a 'cool' baby!

Anyway,

We'r now called 'Such a Cow' ! yay! I woke up one fine day (oh and after this special appearance by the lovely ladiej K-ay in the why-dont-I-blog-anymore deep thinking session) and realized that my blog depressed me. I don't care anymore if / if not the boring captain of the famous Titanic cried or made love or watched a soap opera before he died. I want to be mean and I want to be mean and therefore to everyone who visits me and my hot blog, I'll say, "Such a cow!" Oh i have no idea what it means, but well, it sure does sound like something mean and bitchy teeeheee!

So, Such-a-cow is back with loads of colourful hearts that are meant to hurt your eyes and hypnotize you...falalalalalaaaa

*Plays some Arabian music*

*Everybody starts belly dancing*

*Punk Camels start break dancing*

*Starts throwing refrigerators at the crowd*

Don't you love Meeeeeeeee?

Camera's have little kids inside them. Who colour pictures for you.

I could hire a truck and drive away filmy style.

I could get bitten by a cow or a sparrow.

I could fall off a rickshaw.

I could get electrocuted while atop a train.

I could fall asleep in a roadside wastebin.

I could be at my wedding, smiling away to glory, and trip and fall into the pyre.

I could choke on a plastic bag.

Dude, I could want to freefall into the Ganges, scream of inner joy, attain peace, have my 'moment of truth', next, have some dead guy's hand in my mouth, and die of shock terror amusement whatnot.

So much could happen. But right now I don't really need a reason to shut ze hot blog for a while, i am just pulling the shutters down. I am just bored. But, my romance with this sexlikehot place isn't dead okay? Its just 'for a while'.

I know I'm awesome and wonderful and the best and you'll miss me and send me please come-back-emails and you'll come check this place everysingleminute for updates and all, but whattodo yaa, you have to move on mate! I can't be awesome all the time!

You know i meant to sound funny when i said THAT ^ :/

Hasta la vista, baby. Ekdum Arnold Schwarzenegger style.

Throw rocks at them both sexes, sometimes I want to.

"When I was your age, I lost a tooth. Not my virginity."

I saw this group somewhere on Fa(r)cebook. No, tell me How is that possible? Why would anyone agree to that? What was the creator thinking?

I really want to know. Like I ain't a genius, but, you lose a tooth (naturally) when you are what? 7? 8? 9? 10? Is that when you suppose a certain xyz was busy losing her/his virginity? Was that what the members were thinking? At age 7? 8? 9? 10? Losing her/his effing virginity? No no tell me!

There are three possibilities.

1. People who join are people who actually know such odd humans in reality.
2. People who join are people who want to scream out loud : Hey! Look I am friends with a slut. How 'kewl' am I.
3. People who join are people who want to scream out loud: Aiyyooo Devrey (Oh god) what a sin to not join the group. Else how will people know I am the i-am-so-goodie-halo's-above-my-head-crowd-my-face kinds?
   

I love such people. I love them cause they provide me such entertainment you have no clue.

If only we had more of 'them', the world would be a lamer place to live in. Bliss.

Are you one of 'them' my lovely people? -smiles patiently-

Oh we'r a 100+1, btw.
-pulls out a beeeeeeg 'Thank You' placard-
-music plays-
-everyone starts dancing like maniacs on the dance floor-
-randomly throws refrigerators at the crowd-

Free food is very costly sexxxy people, go home now. :D

Us, the kayak, the water and my grave.

One day it'll rain...

One day we'll be sailing on a kayak...

The two of us...sailing in a world of our own.

A look at the vast blue blanketing ocean

A thrilled face, a squeal, jazz fingers and we'll dive into the blue water...

The cold gush of water grabbing at me...

I'll soon be dragged into my watery grave...

Waiting for the climax music to play, for sharks to circle around me, for you to kick them left and right, envelope me in your arms and for us to swim to the shore. Together.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Soon I: screaming for help...

And you: swimming further away ...

Rescuing a drowning figure from another kayak.

Sala. How you'r like that man?

My Hair.

I have hair on my head. I am very grateful.

I call my hair "MY HAIR". They loved being called MY HAIR.

They are black. They are curly. They are short. They are messed up at all times.

I like my hair, mostly. When I don't like my hair, I cut them.

I cut my own hair. With scissors. I like cutting my own hair.

I tie my hair up. I dont leave them. I dont like them falling. I dont like them getting lost.

But, my hair, they don't like me. They mostly are grumpy and sad.

They mostly celebrate bad hair days. I don't like them celebrating these bad hair days.

When I get angry at them, I don't comb them. I never comb my hair. Never.

They like oil, shampoo, conditioner, mousse very much. I like them but. Its a love triangle.

I try very hard to win their love. I blog about them. I blog about them. And I blog about them.

But they don't know nothing about blogger.

Sometimes they make me look pretty. V Pretty. I love my hair. V much.

Do you love yours?

My Sexxxy People!

I am a bit odd in the head. You know, there are times when i am just normal. And then there are times when random things cross my mind and i start acting a beeeeet crazed up. Like in the last two days I read two three bloggers go yadda yadda yadda about their saga of not being able to write anymore (okay, uhm, i din't intend to sound the way you think i sound.) so ya, and then last night, i couldn't sleep. I had my anthropology exam in exactly 6 hours and there i was, wondering if i can still write or not...why? cause my alter ego reminded me that i hadn't updated my blog for the past 5 days and there IS a possiblity that i might have developed the oh-i-can-nomore-write syndrome in 5 days. 120 hours. Oh don't look at me. It was my alter ego. Anyway, the first thing i do after i come home, jab the keyboard furiously. Think. Type. Erase. Get Angry. Furious. Type some more. Erase some more more. Get angry some more more more. Shut eyes. THINK. TYPE. ERASE. And then, get bored. Yawn. Stretch. Calmly get up n go to the kitchen. Break open a packet of Hide-n-Seek and munch on biscuit after biscuit. Who cares man if i can write or not! When the brain wants to think, type and hit the post button, it will. Its like saying 'Don't teach daddy how to fuck' ??

Moral of the post: BingoBoomBaamDhoomDhamDhishum! i CAN write. So ya, you still have a lot of rubbish coming you'r way, my child, before I retire *coughs like an old lady* (CLAP. the speech is over =/)

*goes away dancing. tapori dance.*

Voices.

One day he grabbed the wet earth and shoved it up in his mouth.

Crunch Crunch Crunch ...

He chuckled at the sound.

One day he coerced the dog to swallow the house keys.

The dog whimpered, yet swallowed.

He chuckled when his father began digging a grave for the dog in their courtyard.

One day he pinched his sleeping grandmother's nose shut.

He held on to it. The old lady first flinched, then shuddered, and then opened her mouth wide, gasping for breath.

He chuckled when the shocked look on her face wouldn't wear off for days.

One day he struck a match and flung it at the cowshed.

The cows moo-ed and people ran with pails of water.

He chuckled when they carried the carcasses out of the shed. 11 scalded blistered remains.

One day he lifted his baby sister carefully, very carefully, and walked over to the well.

He stood on his toes carefully, very carefully.

And tossed the bundle in his hand into the well.

Carefully, very carefully.

He chuckled when he heard the splash and a muffled cry.

They always told him to do so. The voices.

MYB Please.

Depressing day.

I'm in the train, my grandmomsy decides to call me up first thing in the morning to wish me luck for my exams and after all the wishing and lying about how much you'v studied and stuff, i conclude the phone call with these 'i looooooove you', 'i misssss you' and 'muuuuuahs' (to my grandmom cause well that is pretty normal between me and her and i love to do so cause i loooove her!!!) The moment i keep the phone down, these weird faced aunties in the train stare at me until i stare back at them and then they start discussing, out loud, about how ill mannered the generation today has become and that they have no calms in being soooo vocal about their 'love' for some other person and that they basically shameless. Well my brain took a few minutes to figure out the scene, soon i realized it was ME they were talking about. And, they obviously thought i was talking to my 'boifriend' (pay attention to the pronunciation...BOIfriend.) I wanted to scream, "these middle aged aunties have no business in life no, eavesdrop on other people's conversations. they have become so manner less and shameless." sad i din't have anyone around me to share my views with. Out loud. Depressing day. Sense and sensibility are on sale.

PS: MYB means Mind Your Business FYI =P