A letter to....Cody??

Dear Cody,

I'v been meaning to write you a letter, a letter to someone I do not know. Know not I you. Does it matter? Not matter it does.

I'v been waiting all day long for you. Not that it takes much of an effort to wait, but I have been waiting. I see you everyday. I see you look at me in the eye. And then I see you look away. But wait, if I see myself looking away, how do I know that you look away too? What matters is that we both look at each other. You at me, I at you. I never smile when you are around. I just talk. Cause there are so many things I want you to know. And I believe you do the same. Makes it easier for me to put myself to sleep at night, after battling all those thoughts about you.

I dream. I see us walking. On a street. Past midnight. Into the dawn maybe. Not holding hands, certainly not. We dare not be like every other fairy tale couple. Not. I see us clutching at our coats to evade the bitting cold. Remember we hate the winter? Sometimes I wish we'd be mute. Wouldn't really matter. Maybe you wouldn't be able to sing me a song then, but, I anyway wouldn't understand these songs you'd want to sing. No, let us be mute. That way you wouldn't ever know that all I read is chick lit. That way you wouldn't shatter my heart by talking about her, your 'good friend'...

Maybe we could smile once in a while...your smile dazzling the shit out of me. I wonder if the cold would let me smile? Exactly why I hate the cold. You'd love the cold. You'v been in it all your life. I hope you love walking on the outer side of the pavement. I fear that side. I fear being hit by a car. I fear no-one being around to shield me. Now that you are here, you might as well serve the purpose.

Maybe if I have nothing else to speak of, we'd wait by the side of the road and clear the patch filled with dry leaves, with our feet, crushing them, just like you crushed my heart one day...and I was too full of nothing to revert back. What was I to do if they said you had your heart pinned to some other specimen from Venus?

We could walk a lil more...uphill. In silence. Cause I always wanted you to speak to the real me, to the me that lies deep beneath me...

Maybe you could break the silence to ask me if I was doing well...what with the thick air and the anxiety...uphill we'd walk.

When we reach the end of the road and there is nowhere to go, we'd simply turn and walk back to where we started from. I dont need no climax. No pushing off cliffs or flying high with happiness...All I need is for it to be real.

I won't go home without you...

Even if I have to sell my pricey diamonds for you...

Those looks you steal are a question to me. Still. Always.

I got no name, I got no address, I got no money for stamps.

Its a letter to Cody, a name so fictitious they already think I am deranged.

I like the sound of your name. I hope even as you read this you like the name I just named you after...Cody, the kid from Scary Movie 4.