Monday, August 9, 2010

I don't crack jokes. I crack statements.

I have never gone on a morning walk. I'v never gotten drunk. I'v never had drinks. I'v never smoked. I'v never had make up on. I'v never worn heels. I'v never cycled. I'v never built sand castles. I'v never milked a cow. I'v never liked fancy sounding food. I'v never danced atop a table. I'v never danced naughty. I'v never been to a club. I'v never driven a car. I'v never stayed home alone all night. I'v never lived in a joint family. I'v never had cousins in the same city. I'v never starved myself (like d'oh). I'v never gone trekking. I'v never cried for a friend or a lover. I'v never seen a live match. I'v never gotten stuck in an elevator with a hot human. I'v never gone rolling downhill on grass. I'v never been abroad. Sniff. I'v never been to the southernmost tip of India. I'v never topped a class. I'v never been on a honeymoon. I'v never gotten married. I'v never had pets. I'v never had kids. I'v never worn a real short dress. I'v never punched or hit someone. I'v never felt extremely intelligent. I'v never done black magic. I'v never watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s. I'v never stayed in an old mansion. I'v never seen a gun for real. I'v never fallen in love. I'v never coloured my hair. I'v never been a teachers pet. Sniff. And, I'v never seen a dog eat homework.

See! You, me and us. We'r ordinary people. Never must you feel that your life has been a black and white boring movie. Because, have no fear, Shreya is here. Her movie is an Oscar nominee for the black and white boring movie category :] Smile now.

But, I may have never done this that, but I have made people laugh. And I don't even charge people for it. I only make them call me awesome. I'm content :]

PS: If you wish to do this as a post on your blog, I won't call you a copy cat. Go ahead. Spread my awesomeness. Wheeeee!

19 cows believe I'm awesome. Do you?:

فاطمة نصرط said...

Hahahaha!

You are Awesome!

Oddball friend of skeletor said...

hehe... i loved this post!
i can match most of your "never"s

especially elevator hot human [man] one.. as a matter of fact not even on a flight. they might sit infront or behind me but never beside me.
instead... if i see someone in the waiting room and go "please dont let that one sit next to me please! anyone but him" then usually it's THAT one who does end up sitting next to me.

:)

Anonymous said...

Hi.. I really love your blog and am sorry I can't follow you. But I have to steal this post. Am sorry :(
You are uber cute girl ;)

Meher....all out to explore..!! said...

take this ..you're awesome :)
and I want to write this post.wanna be a copy-cat.

Shreya said...

@the first comment ... teehee thankoo :]

@oddball ... i'v already blessed you :]

@ anonymous ... hey :) i have no issues at all! but leave a link behind so i can visit your blog too :)

@meher ... go go copy cat me without being called a copy cat :P

hopelessly flawed said...

you are awfully awesome!
keep it up!

quartertoinsane said...

u knw u have unlimited bragging rights, so ur awesome

n hwz da thingdatwasmakingusick?

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

u r realli awesome...:P

and funny too...;)

Sid,
Check out Holy Cow!!!

Darshan Chande said...

A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Shreya said...

@hopelessly falwed yayyyyyieeeee :]

@quartertosane ... I am sort of less unwell now :] thank you for asking though!

@Darshan ... eeee thank you :]

Shruti said...

And I thought I was the only one who had never watched "Friends"!!!
Ok..so you are now Awesome ;)
Got here through Twitter.. Look at your blog title and twitter handle!!
You are funny and one brat of a girl :P

...Jitsy... said...

ok i wont say you're awesome....cows before me have already done the honours...
il only say dat since the past few weeks i havnt read one single blog, havent posted one single post, or havent even bothered to see nayone's updates except urs...
i log in, check wehter there's anythin new with you, read it and log out...
i wanna be insane nad boring too....i wanna be awesome...
jealous, jealous , jealous...sniff sniff sniff....
n i'm totallly copying this post...too tired and lazy to type an original post....
wat to say? i'm a cow.. :]

Shreya said...

@shruti... thank you is all i can say no? :]

@jitsy...gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah stop making me feel this awesome :D that was a HUGE compliment! thank you!

The Goddess of Boho said...

Wheeeeeeeeeeee! wheeeeeeee! wheeeeeee!
if you must know, shreya is the copy cat! wheeee is my new thing after eeeeeeee! But we telepathically hang on to the same nonsensical words, so ya, you're allowed.

Anyway, black and white movie category?! LOL!
Wait let me say it orkut style. lolllzzzzzzz/lulzzzz/loliezzz

Ok so I made the last one up :P

Anyway, the point is, I am somewhat cooler, because guess what I have done black magic. I wont tell you that things got burned in my room and I had to clean up before my mum sees it and gets creeped out :P

I have however never gotten stuck in the elevator with a hot someone! Booohoooo! But one of these days, I plan to corner a hot someone, press the stop button, so we can jiggy wiggy (yea, i'm going to use cool terms like that) :P

Also, I have had kids. *Five* that too. One husband. C'est la vie baby!

One of these days I'm going to force you to wear a very short dress and walk around with make up on.

Until. enjoy your moments of I have not so so and so :P

Oh and I'm doing a giveaway on my blog. I don't care if you dont want butterfly pendants, just particiapte ok? :P


purple-peeptoes.blogspot.com

Shreya said...

YOU CHALU AURAT :D

just because I left a 'this has to be your fav comment' comment on your blog, you dont have to come leave a comment here, which BY THE WAY IS THE FAVVVVVVVVVVEST COMMENT EVER :]

you did black magic on whom itam :s

also, i see your vocab has gone coolest to kewlest. who is responsible behind this lovely transformation? :)

I'm going to participate and then scream jo jeeta woh bandar hahhahahaha :]

lav lav lav!

The Goddess of Boho said...

wahi bandar! Bwahaah! I swear to bhagwan, any other person would have said this, I would cracked a coconut on his/her skull :P
But you're allowed.

Until men continue ro raaawwwwwkkkk!

And yay for the favourtestestest comment =D
Wheeeeeeee!


purple-peeptoes.blogspot.com

Scribblers Inc said...

now THAT, my girl right there, is pure awesomeness!! I am blinded and I dont care if my grammer is screwed!!

Scribblers Inc.

Shreya said...

@GOB yaaaaaaaaaaay do i my-type-ka-giveaway no! jholas and kurtas :P

@Scribbler ... thank you :] thank you twice :]

Sonshu said...

HAHAH! aweesomeeee post! You indeed are aweesome. Such a random and cute post! :D