Saturday, May 15, 2010

One day I will find a husband and poke the cupid in the eye with his arrow.

So, I am a help desk. Din't you know? yes I am. Now you know? People call me up, ask for help, I help them, they thank this that, and then they'r the stars. I know exactly how these make-up men feel. WOW. I feel like a make-up man. Anyway.

This place where I work, I play agony aunt. And trust me, I realized you and me are nothing as compared to people who have such obnoxious problems in their love life, you don't know if you should laugh or laugh. One random chick posted a query saying she was in love with a Radio Jockey and 'couldn't live without him'. Whattosay?

Me and K-ay were at my desk and I was brooding over the same old thing: I have nothing to talk about on my blog Aaaarrrggghhhh. So, my lovely ladiej that she is, she suggested I pen a letter to my future husband. How productive and random and expected! So, you-know-whats-coming-next...

Dear loverboy, (yes, thats the name I chose.)

I wish to meet you as soon as possible ! I want you to be from Australia / New Zealand. Knowing my love for those places, I'd chose you even if you were cleaning toilets over there :)
I want you to be ...
  • petite. Tiny. Hulk and hunk and all I don't want.
  • Brown hair. Formal shirts, cotton pants and glasses.
  • Smart, sweet, cute and silly. Chocolatey brownie points for the last quality. And if you'r intelligent and want to discuss Shake-his-pear or anyone of that sort, I shall throw you into the sea.
You'll be a great cook. You'll cook and I'll eat. You cook I eat You cook I eat You cook and I eat. Heart shaped chocolate chip cookies you'll bake.

Oh, and on days when I feel like hitting on other men, you'll accompany me and hit on other women. Next morning, we'll be back to our love story.

You must
  • watch shady south Indian dubbed films and tacky television serials and CID and teleshopping ads.
  • And when you get bored of it all, you chose to prank call people or randomly bitch about people we barely know. Oh else you'll blog.
Yours should be the hottest blog, second to mine.

And you should be petrified of escalators. Together we shall walk up and down the stairs :s .

And you should
  • be random. Random with a capital R.
  • And work as a photographer. Me a journalist, you a photographer.
I think I'm almost done.
One last thing, wear descent clothes. Please? No bell bottom pants and shorts and fake tee's please?

I am into love mode after having written that! I can almost see my husband eeeeeeeeee! Oh and husband, it'll be SO romantic if you'r reading this!

Okay, hopelessness has crawled into me.

By the way, I realized a lot of people really like my blog. I must start charging people to read it. I'm serious. And I'm broke! And I need to go to Australia! You'll pay? Please?

I love you all sooooo much :)

16 cows believe I'm awesome. Do you?:

Anonymous said...

LOve you too <3

Hope you get that guy ;)

Crazy Diamond said...


no way, don't charge us!!

K-ay said...

You wrotez u wrotez u wrotez!
I will writez todaay!
Anyway I love this blog post soooooooo much.
Esp the bit about him having to cook,
*evil feminist laugh*

Shreya said...

Marshmellow, heh thanks :D

Di, but i want to charge :O

K-ay, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yours has to be put up ASAP okay.
Listen, our husbands will read this. I am sure. Or to get more filmy, they'll be writing similar letters in some part of the world for us :P

et said...

Oww then will u charge for paintings by you used in pretty little Comics? :-/

Anyways. Beautiful post. Google all the blogger community, and you'll find him there!

BoogieMonsterMan said...

Hurlow meri gayeee.


Kaisi ho?

Aapka pati-dev toh barha cute hai.
Mein leloun? HAR HAR HAR.

Awwww my dream guy, is kinda like him too. Except, he's all into one :/
He's this + byronic hero + ..idk.. all mushed into one

Or something.. :/

uglyduckling91 said...

Dammit. I don't dress decently. I can't because my feet are too big. :(

Mihir said...

I'll pay! ok?

♫♪♥Lonely Dreamer♥♪♫ said...

Hope that guy comes soon :)
I love the picture!!

Rishi said...

I dare to you read this post after 10 yrs and tell me if anything matched...

chitrank upadhyay said...

hey.. thanks i'm flattered :) really needed that low on confidence these days.. ;).. ur blog's kinda neat

ya i'll try posting some 'light' stuff.. and i don really know how to get more ppl so.. anywho

i'll send you an invitation for the writings.. but i need ur e-mail address on gmail..

patheticpari said...

retarded... cleaning toilets... yet photographer... damn....

Shreya said...

pariiiii! i meant it'd be okay even if he was toilet cleaner. it'd be better if he was a photographer :P

Almighty's Guinea Pig !!! said...

v nice :-)

An1rudh.B said...

I'll pay! Your blog is my daily dose of random-ness. :P

Anonymous said...

"watch shady south Indian dubbed films and tacky television serials and CID and teleshopping ads."

i love those xD