Thursday, December 31, 2009

Damn i AM smiling. Creepy-ly


I feel empty. Like an empty vessel that makes no noise?

Like all solitary, forlorn, abandoned (okay too many beeeeg words.).I'v snuggled happily under a warm blanket and slept for hours. Those'r the only times I'v probably smiled, after I woke up.
I'm real cold these days. My jacket does me no good even under the afternoon sun...I'm just a tad too cold. There is no waking up on the wrong side of the bed anymore. My bed has only one side which apparently turns out to be the wrong side. Things just don't feel right. I din't budge outta my house for precisely a WHOLE (fucking) WEEK! And it felt too good to be good!
Lately, I only like the company of my Mom! She makes me smile. She and the warm blanket. She's taken some time off work and that means I smile a percent more often...I like talking to her over cups of tea. Talking about all things, stupid and stupid. Smart talks are a thing of the past. I love being pampered with hot food for lunch. I love being screamed at for delaying my lunch. I love being cared. I love waking up to see her crib about how I have no sense of time! I love to see her frown when I don't play songs of her liking! I love my Mom!
Have you ever been on a roller coaster? That feeling you get when the thing goes down...like you keep telling yourself, "Its over Its over Its over...just some more time..." I got that feeling in me.
I won't say what everybody's saying...the year is ending blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda...
It doesnt matter to me, it never has. It doesn't matter to me if I don't party, go for dinners, get drunk and feel happy...
It doesnt matter if I spend my day researching on my project or painting fridge magnets for kids...
It doesnt matter if I watch Quantum of Solace on the night of 31st...
What matters is that well, I am at \peace/ in my hallroom. Cold. Lonely.Warm.Peaceful. A smile plastered on my mind. Not my face.
No New Year wishes please, i KNOW you want it to be a happy one for me :)

PS: Can't stop listening to Sparks by Coldplay!

Live, Love, Laugh!

13 cows believe I'm awesome. Do you?:

Gomzee said...

Well New years is for people who don't greet life with warmth n happiness n enthusiasm throughout..

Its that fixed day for these people to realise "wow i can enjoy today"

n hence the tradition :D

Loved the writing..

Pink is not good :p

Muah! :D

*Shreya* said...

Gomzillaaaa My man!!!! thanks for dropping by :D

Just making sure the *pink* hurts your eye :P

Love xxx

oRange* said...

'What matters is that well, I am at \peace/ in my hallroom. Cold. Lonely.Warm.Peaceful. A smile plastered on my mind. Not my face.'

SUPER! Go girl ;)
thats an amazing feeling and who cares how drunk one gets on new years or how many paries one attends! blah.

i was at home too ..and i watched what happens in vegas! yay and im glaaad :D

wasnt at first but things changed towards the end and this post of urs is like a cherry on the cake!

mwah! just feel like thanking you for some *weird* reason :|

Kellie said...

I liked this. :)
I've never understood New Years. I don't like the idea of waiting for the first of the year to make changes in your life. But to each their own :)

*Shreya* said...

@oRange*
no worries!!!
I like being the cherry on the cake *blows a feather off her palm, pouts and winks*

@kellie...
bingo!!!
Thanks for being one of my sexxxy people :)

The Me. said...

Awww, about the mom thing. I heart mine too. =]
How was quantum of solace btw? =D

*Shreya* said...

all moms are absolute sweet<3's
!!!!

Eeeeeee i slept halfway through the movie...sala not a single cute thing to drool after in it :/

Amnn.......//1! said...

nice .. i shall follow ,,
btw sparks by coldplay .. awesome ,,]
actually ...
all songs by cold play ,,,amazing ,,,~~

Allison said...

Wow. What a deep post. :D I hope you enjoy the New Year, and have an amazing 2010!

Lavender said...

Faithful follower since the 2nd of January 2010 :)

P.S. Happiness is a feeling that originates somewhere inside. As long as you have loads of it inside everything on the outside will seem perfect no matter how chaotic it is :)

*Shreya* said...

@amnn...yea all their songs are like SO awesome!!!

welcome! to my sexxxy people ;)

@allison...thanks a ton :) wish you the same!!!

@lavender...awwwwwwwwwwww!! thankiee you shooooooooooo much :)
about happiness, yeah i already follow that mantra in life!!! exactly why i'm 'smiling' :D

Love xxx

soin said...

if you know how to drum theres nothing like an empty vessel..and i totally agree with the ps.infact the whole of coldplay.martin did a cover of ring of fire.as good as the original.free

wildflower said...

i so so relate to this one..u almost wrote it on my behalf ..thnkyu